I'm in the process of becoming nocturnal. Up at night, asleep during the day. Actually, by that definition nocturnal isn't really the right term, because I don't really sleep during the day either. It's more like I've become a test subject in a crazy experiment to test how far a mother can last on the least amount of sleep. This experiment has not been my choice, but rather my daughter Liberty's idea.
She's now 7 weeks old, and still mostly runs the schedule around here despite my best efforts to say otherwise. I've told Sarah I will gladly potty train her children if she sleep trains my baby. I already clean up poop several times a day. (Libby has officially been crowned the pooping queen, really, there was a coronation and everything.) And I'd secure my spot as favorite aunt for sure if I get to hand out treats just for sitting on the toilet.
Many "experts" say a baby is capable of sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. Capable however is not the same as willing. Liberty just doesn't like to sleep! I've never seen someone fight it so much. And then once she finally drifts of to dream land, it doesn't last long. She's not a restful sleeper. If only she knew that one day she'd do anything just to get a little nap in her day, she'd soak up all Z's she can get now. Too bad we can't stock pile sleep; take a super long nap and bank those hours so we can dip into them after a long night.
We seem to have a few good nights, and then take a huge step back and stay up for days and nights on end. Oh believe me, I run a tight schedule during the day. Feedings at regular intervals, nearly the same time each day to get a pattern going. I'm reading "Baby Wise," a book my sister-in-law swears by to give the "gift of sleeping through the night" to my baby. So you'd think that by following its precepts my baby would have a great relationship with the Sandman by now. Not so. The book has lots of great tips, especially for solving problems when a child wakes early from a nap. I've definitely read that portion a few times. But the statistics they give about babies sleeping up to 18 hours a day, falling promptly to sleep simply because they've eaten a good meal, are suspicious. Where are they finding these babies? The more I read the book the less successful as a parent I started to feel. I was doing everything they said and Libby still winds up staying awake till around 3 or 4 am. Then again, she is her father's baby and therefore I was destined to give birth to a night owl.
The book also says after feeding there should be "minimal" wake time. Who wants minimal wake time with their baby? Especially one who is as adorable as mine? I want my baby to be alert during the day so I can see her beautiful smile and listen to her cooing and awing, intermittent with naps of course. I don't want to feel like I'm just trying to force her from nap to nap. Could it be that my little angel just isn't ready to sleep through the night?
Everyone keeps telling me to just let her "cry it out." Really, you want me to stand back while my precious baby cries? When all it would take is a little holding and cuddling to calm her down? It's not an easy thing for a mother to let her baby cry. It's not like I'm going to get any sleep while she cries so it doesn't really solve the main problem. I also don't want her to think I won't respond when she cries. I feel its also important for her to learn to trust that when she needs something, mom's gonna be there. She has her hungry cry, her burp-me cry, and sleepy cry, which is a half-hearted wimper. And there is her just hold me cry. I know its her only way to communicate right now and she needs to know she can count on mom to respond and take care of whatever the problem is. So to all those people who say just let her cry it out, sorry, but I don't think that helps her either. Don't think I can't put Libby down. I want her to become independent, and I know that means not smothering her, but what child ever complained that their mother held them too much as a baby? I'm okay to let her fuss and she's able to put herself to sleep sometimes.
I think she's learning how to sleep through the night, just very slowly. I've had some pretty special moments with her during the late nights. She laughs in her sleep, a full on belly shaking chuckle. It's adorable! And I think she has a special smile reserved just for me, her mama. I get to have these precious moments with her even if it means some sleepless nights where we finally settle down on the couch or snuggled in her rocking chair just as Dad's waking up for the day. I want my baby to sleep at night, because I want and need to sleep at night, but I think maybe she's just not ready. Until then, I'm just going to have to keep company with all the owls, bats, crickets, and oh yeah, the wombat. Who wouldn't want to be friends with a wombat.
I'm pretty sure we haven't let out kids cry themselves to sleep until they were about 8 or 9 months old, and even then not for more than 5-10 min at a time.
ReplyDeleteBut +1 for a routine. That is the only thing that helps our keeps go to sleep at night. We do the same thing every night in the same order so that the kids know what is coming and are ready for it when they are in bed.
You're a hilarious writer. I just keep thinking that when we were little, you always wrote stories and you were going to be a writer someday. That's what we all knew! Then it all changed to designer...and now look at you going back to your roots.
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