Becoming Grateful Day 7: Practice Grateful Thinking

PRACTICE GRATEFUL THINKING

"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder."

-Gilbert Keith Chesterton

We've all heard the phrase "You are what you eat," but have you heard "You are what you think?" All actions begin with a simple thought. If we want to have a life full of gratitude, we need to start practicing grateful thinking. Grateful thinking is linked to higher levels of energy, less stress, improved health, and overall happiness. We can have these benefits in our own lives. This can be hard if we've already developed a habit of reacting to things in life in a negative way. Our minds almost subconsciously react to the things that happen, especially when it seems that once one thing goes wrong, every thing goes wrong in a domino effect.  Before you know it, you're just having a bad day. 

I remember one of these "bad days" a few years back. My sunroof window had shattered seemingly without any cause so we had duck-taped a garbage bag over the top and kept the inside cover shut until it could be repaired. Meanwhile, I still had places to go, people to see, and shopping to do. I was supposed to meet my husband's, (then boyfriend) sisters for his mom's birthday lunch. In typical fashion, I was running late. As I cruised onto the freeway, I could hear the duck tape starting to unpeel and the bag flapping in the wind. I was so paranoid it would fly off, land on another car's windshield, and I would be the cause of a major freeway accident. I pulled off at the next exit only to find myself in a major construction zone. Due to my impatience from being in a rush, I didn't see the pothole right next to the new curb going in at the gas station and nearly bottomed-out. I got out to check only to find the big plastic protective thingy had come un-clipped and was now dragging. I couldn't do much about it, so I focused on rubbing the duck tape back down on the window and got back on the road. As  I drove I heard the bag flapping in the wind again, and this time I knew I had to do something more. I pulled off the road again to a Maverick. I didn't have much money on me other than for lunch, so I got the smallest roll of duck-tape and a box of two garbage bags. I went back out to my car just as the wind was picking up. 

I must have looked like an idiot there in the parking lot, trying to stand in the door frame in high-heels, taping my car back together. I was nearly in tears. By now I was over an hour late with much farther to drive, a dragging skid plate, busted sunroof, and I was making my car ever more ghetto-looking with gobs of duck tape. I was ready to give up. The negative thought reel starting playing: What a waste of time; I should never had gone; I can't do anything right; nothing good ever happens to me; I have such bad luck and on and on. But then something happened. Two young guys, probably feeling sorry for me and my pathetic attempts to fix my window, came over and offered to help. They almost effortlessly got a new bag taped down securely and sent me on my way. I was so grateful for their help! Suddenly the grateful thinking began: how lucky I was those guys were at the same gas station at the same time; I was thankful that tiny roll of duck-tape had enough on it; I was glad I was back in my car where it was warm as the wind grew colder; that I was thankful I was back on my way and excited to meet up for lunch; and so on. Just like the first negative thought led to more, the one thought of gratitude let to more grateful thinking. This is how it works. We just need to start that one thankful thought. 

"Grateful thinking promotes the savoring of positive life experiences. By relishing and taking pleasure in some of the gifts of your life, you will be able extract the maximum possible satisfaction and enjoyment from your current circumstances."

Try this exercise to start thinking about things you are grateful for. You can do it in your mind or write it down if that helps. 

1. Choose one of the best things in your life; your good health, your loving spouse or your children, a safe home, etc. 

2. Now picture your life without that one thing. Thing about what life would be like? How would you feel? 

3. Think about how your life would be different. How much would it impact?

4. Now think about your life in real time, with that person or good thing as it is now. How do you feel now? Do you feel more grateful for that person or item than your did before you started? 

When we think about the people and blessings we are most thankful for, it is easier to cultivate a habit or grateful thinking. Try it out and see if those "bad days" seem less frequent. 

Characteristics of a Grateful Thinker

1. Looks for the silver lining in difficult circumstances.
2. Avoids negative self-talk.
3. Refrains from victim-like or the "poor me" ways of thinking.
4. Don't think in all-or-nothing scenarios.
5. Takes advantage of life.
6. Recognizes when a shift in attitude is needed.
7. Chooses to have positive perceptions.