FORGIVENESS
Some of you may be asking, "What does forgiveness have to do with being grateful.?" Well, a lot actually. When you are upset, angry, or hurt by someone, it leaves a lot less room in your life for gratitude. It's hard to see the good things when we are filling our minds with bitterness. Gratitude helps us forgive and forgiveness helps us grow in gratitude. When we try to free ourselves from holding onto grudges and anger, we can be at peace and have a thankful heart.
“…he shall receive this blessing, if he receive it from the hand of the Lord, with a thankful heart in all things.”
Doctrine and Covenants 62:7
You might be thinking this is easier said that done. True. I know from experience. It wasn't but a few years ago I had some kind of falling out with someone close to me. I say some kind because I don't really know how it happened. It seemed like we went from talking nearly everyday, making plans, hanging out, sharing crafty ideas, to not even speaking almost over night. At first I thought it would blow over, but the more time passed the worse it got. My feelings turned from being annoyed and irritated to angry and hurt, until eventually I just wanted to give up even trying to fix the situation. After all, it was my fault. Was it?
I was hurt and I thought avoiding the situation would keep me from being hurt again. Over a year went by like this. We rarely spoke, and when we had to it was often with the shortest of responses possible. It seemed now that we did things to each other just out of spite. It put others in the middle and made it uncomfortable for them. All along I knew deep in my heart that I needed to offer forgiveness, and more importantly, ask for it. It wasn't easy. It didn't happen over night. But little by little both of us seemed to grow in our appreciation for one another. We needed each other and the relationship that we once had. One of the things I noticed that helped the most was showing appreciation for this friend's small acts of kindness. We never sat down and actually hashed out any details, but more like we each had to get over ourselves and just forgive each other. I feel as though when our hearts (and egos) were mended, our relationship slowly grew back to what it once was. Actually, I think its even better. Being grateful for one another was the key. And now how much more grateful I am that we were able to overcome our "falling out" and be friends.
I was hurt and I thought avoiding the situation would keep me from being hurt again. Over a year went by like this. We rarely spoke, and when we had to it was often with the shortest of responses possible. It seemed now that we did things to each other just out of spite. It put others in the middle and made it uncomfortable for them. All along I knew deep in my heart that I needed to offer forgiveness, and more importantly, ask for it. It wasn't easy. It didn't happen over night. But little by little both of us seemed to grow in our appreciation for one another. We needed each other and the relationship that we once had. One of the things I noticed that helped the most was showing appreciation for this friend's small acts of kindness. We never sat down and actually hashed out any details, but more like we each had to get over ourselves and just forgive each other. I feel as though when our hearts (and egos) were mended, our relationship slowly grew back to what it once was. Actually, I think its even better. Being grateful for one another was the key. And now how much more grateful I am that we were able to overcome our "falling out" and be friends.
Judith Belmont wrote"Those who are steeped in bitterness and grudges have no space in
their heart to be grateful. " What a true statement! I had been so busy filling my heart with emotions like anger, sadness, annoyance, and resentment that I was unable to fill it with forgiveness, understanding, compassion, gratitude, or love. I don't know about you but I have a hard time doing too many things at once, and when I was too busy focusing on my angry and hurt feelings, I wasn't able to focus on the many blessings I had in life.
One major component of finding gratitude through forgiveness is remembering the forgiveness we are offered from God through his Son, Jesus Christ. How eternally grateful I am for that gift we can receive. Knowing this helps me remember to forgive others and appreciate more.
And be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s
sake hath
forgiven you. -Ephesians 4:32
If you find that you need to forgive someone, start by seeking out the things you are grateful for in that person. It will be hard at first. It may be something seemingly insignificant at first, but as you practice your grateful thinking, you'll find it easier to find things to be thankful for.You may not have a rivalry with anyone or deep wounds to mend, then again, you may. On a daily basis, we need to offer and ask for forgiveness in the small things. Be understanding to your spouse when he can't read you mind. Forgive and be patient with your children when they need extra help learning how to listen. Forgive the elderly woman who cut you off while merging onto the freeway, even when you believe she shouldn't still have a driver's license. Finding forgiveness in even the small things will aid in your journey to Become grateful.
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heart that understands the depth of forgiveness from the Lord, lives with gratitude. -State of the Heart Living
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